There are moments in life when we disappoint ourselves. Furthermore, in letting ourselves down, we disappoint those closest to us. We’ve all been there; we set goals, plans, and visions for what we want, where we are going, and how we are going to get there. We are excited at the possibilities we see in our mind, the different life we see ourselves living in that moment and further things to come. And what often happens is somewhere between the point of holding the vision and actively working on it or not working on it we get comfortable, fall back into old patterns, make up excuses as to why we can’t do this thing that our heart and gut is telling us to do. We allow our fears to cripple us and let our judgments to get in the way before we even get a quarter of the way there. Somehow, we Miss the Mark.
One thing I can say is that I hold a master’s degree in disappointing myself. I don’t disappoint other’s often, but I have a terrible habit of Letting myself down. I’ve come to realize that for me this is due to not seeing myself as important or valuable enough to be serious about my wants, desires, and purpose partly due to my character traits, mental, environmental conditioning and upbringing. Now am not saying any of this to excuse or explain away past actions or choices, but it’s an essential element to understand if I want to achieve different results in the future or to understand some of the things that stop me from fully achieving my goals and realizing my potential.
How do we handle disappointment of ourselves and others? Do we sit there and continue to berate ourselves until the next thing that motivates us happens along? I think not. Firstly, it is important to forgive ourselves, how can we move on if we keep punishing and judging ourselves for past choices and actions. Loving and holding enough compassion for ourselves is an excellent place to start. Secondly, it’s important to ask ourselves “why questions.” Why did we make the choice that led to the undesired outcome and is this a repeated pattern? Thirdly how do we create a different choice that will lead to a better result? Fourthly DO THE WORK that contributes to you achieving that goal, thing, or vision that you’ve set for yourself, BE ACTIVE. Finally, we must trust ourselves and the brilliance that we carry within us. We must believe that we will do our part and that the universe will do its part. We must trust the spirit of those ancestors that have come before and continue to guide us to that which we seek and purpose.
I have found that the third question/step goes beyond just choosing because we have conditioned our minds through years of practice and repeating the same thoughts and behaviors that it’s hard to break out of the old conditioning of bad/poor choices. Tools like meditation, positive affirmations, and brain reprogramming help us to be more centered and effective choice makers. Meditation is a tool that allows the mind to take a brief time out and rest. Just like we rest our bodies through sleep every night it is crucial to relax and quiet our minds daily. In doing this, we begin to feel more energetic and centered.
Furthermore, meditation gives us access to becoming more conscious of our thoughts, the present moment, our actions, and who we are. I will be posting meditation videos and practices one can practice daily, so keep an eye out for that. Affirmations allow us to reprogram the mind by programming the subconscious. When we affirm for ourselves what we want and are becoming, we become that which we are claiming because we interrupt the old thought patterns by creating new neuro networks in the brain. This allows us to think differently and in so doing make more precise and better choices.
Missing the Mark doesn’t mean that we have reached a point of no return or non-redemption. In Missing the Mark there is an opportunity to learn and grow and figure out where we made the wrong turn and more importantly make a different choice. It is an opportunity for us to reset and come back to ourselves as many times as we need to. God knows I’ve had to hit the reset button repeatedly to get it right and make a different choice. It is vital for us to see that we are not alone in our experiences and that once we make up our minds.